cobolhacker.com

2005/12/31

Amateur Night

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 18:25

Everyone asks me if I’m doing anything special on for New Year’s. I don’t know why. I guess it’s the thing to do. Perhaps they are trying to reassure themselves their boring evening will be more eventful than mine. Luckily, they will be right.

When I was younger, I’d have the tendency to greet the new year with a hangover and a bunch of fuzzy memories.

But these days my most favourite thing to do on New Year’s Eve is to stay at home, drink a bunch of beers, and screw around on the Internet. Maybe watch a movie or something. The reason for my sedate evening is I have come to realise that New Year’s Eve is amateur night, and I’m just no longer an amateur.

The spectacle of watching people drink way more alcohol than they are accustomed no longer amuses me as much as it once did. Ten years ago I was one of those people. Being in the thick of it, the drinking and dancing… I’ve seen it all (the parts I remember, anyway). People falling over, falling down stairs, falling off of roofs, nakedness, sex, oral sex, group sex, vomit, fights. . . One can only watch people embarrass themselves in public so many times before it’s old hat.

It has taken me many, many parties to become this crotchety. So pay me no mind! If you’re young I think you need to go out and party. But if you are going to get stiff, don’t screw around like an amateur. Earn that hangover! Drink an amount of booze so epic, your friends will be talking about it in the summer. Do something so wild and so stupid people will revere your drunken insanity like you were the son of God.

To help you in your quest to abolish all sobriety, I humbly offer the prayers of the Church of the Alcoholist. It was… uhh… a society of sorts a bunch of us started in College when we drank enough to make Jim Morrison proud. May its wisdom help you to get absolutely stinko tonight and live to tell the tale!

2005/12/28

Crypto for Kids

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 20:45

Crypto CatThis is all for you, coverfire. It would seem that the NSA has a website devoted to educating American children about what they do.

In not sure how effective the CryptoKids will be at tapping into the next generation of cryptographers, but the whole thing sure is cute. If nothing else, one can enjoy the spectacle of scary government departments pretending to exude cuteness.

linked from Wonkette.


Pandora’s Box

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 00:54

Pandora's Box

In the shop, we just finished an Acer Pandora! Enough pieces arrived the other day to build it, so codesmith decided that he ought to have a go and rip me off of the experience, lol :) I have no complaints ‘cuz it worked out great.

The cute little thing is a copy of the iMac Mini, but unlike the Apple version, we get to choose the options that go inside. The processor is your choice of Pentium 4 mobile, in this case a 1.73GHz model. Also included inside are interfaces for one DDR SO-DIMM and one 2.5 inch hard drive. It provides external DVI, audio, USB 2.0, and firewire interfaces for your peripherals. The slit in the front is a slot-load DVD CDRW combo drive (its future owner will not require the optional DVDRW). There are no legacy ports. Because I am dumb, I sold my last USB keyboard last week, so we had to use a USB to legacy PS/2 cheater just to get the thing going!

It’s small and it’s shiny. Surprisingly fast too, given that it only has a 5400rpm hard drive.

Here are some other pictures.

2005/12/27

who me?

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 21:40

Do you remember when you were young, when you were with your friends, and you would silently cut a nasty one? You’d giggle waiting to see their reaction to your foul odour. Puts a big ‘ole grin on my face even to this day.

Come on, you know you laughed at the ‘I’m sorry Shaun’ bit in Shaun of the Dead.

Mindless school boy humour? Maybe not. I just found a curious article in Wikipedia about attempts to weaponise stink. Apparently it’s for real. Sources are even cited.

2005/12/25

Christmas Invasion

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 22:52

Yeah, yeah, I know I’m a hard core Doctor Who fan boy. Aren’t you?

The Christmas Invasion is going down and I just have to check it out to see what David Tennant can do. I’m already liking his choice of attire. Vastly different from Eccleston, the way it should be.

It aired today in the U.K., but in Canada it will air tomorrow on the CBC at 8pm and probably a couple of times after that.

Doctor Who Christmas Invasion

2005/12/23

King Kong

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 19:21

I just watched Peter Jackson’s remake of King Kong!

To sum it up in a word: awesome. I’m talking about a jaw dropping, eye popping, incredible piece of film. I’m pretty hard on big budget action movies, I don’t tend to like most of them, but this sucker had me glued to the screen. There was every possibility this remake could have been terrible, but Jackson and his team (writers Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens) pulled it off by getting a whole bunch of stuff right.

Naomi Watts as Ann Darrow The first thing they did right was not mess with the original material, avoiding the modern affectations that plague remakes. They could have called the movie “Kong”, “Kong is King”, “8th Wonder”, or something pompous like that, but they didn’t. Unlike the 1976 version, which changed the story and names of all the characters, Jackson’s Kong very closely follows the story of the classic 1933 movie updating only the dialog and mannerisms of the characters. Like the original, it is set in the early thirties. Jackson, it seems, has figured out what so many directors these days have not: if the story isn’t broken, don’t try to fix it.

The second thing they did right was Ann Darrow. It’s hard to beat Fay Wray for sheer lung power, or Jessica Lange for full on sex appeal, but not only does Naomi Watts have a great horror movie scream, she’s incredibly sexy and she’s funny and smart. Gone is the whole creepifying monkey/girl thing expressed so obviously in the 1976 version. Jackson’s Ann doesn’t sing to Kong, she wins him over with some vaudville moves and becomes his companion. As curious as this might seem, it’s really a clever modern touch. 21st century actresses don’t sing to their leading men, and they aren’t playthings. They are women of action.

The next thing they did right was bring in Andy Serkis to play Kong. As many know, he played Gollum in the Lord of the Rings series. I’m not sure how Serkis feels about this distinction, but I’m convinced he is the premier motion capture actor of our time. Kong has a deeper, more developed character in this movie; a lot is asked of Serkis. When Kong scowls, laughs, pounds his chest, or howls, it’s all Serkis. Even the movements of his face were sampled. Some suggest the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences should make a category for best digital performance, but I disagree, as they already have an applicable category: Best Supporting Actor. The fact that he’s covered with digital makeup isn’t relevant. As with Gollum, Serkis’ performance as the giant ape is excellent, and worthy of recognition.

The final thing they did right is they made it huge. King Kong only works if it is done really BIG. The movie would be laughable today if the monkey looked like a puppet, or the monsters on Skull Island looked like models. Although the movie is loaded to the gills with incredible, retina detaching special effects, never once was I bothered by this, as I have been with many other big features. Even during scenes comprised mostly of CG, focus on character wasn’t lost, even if the characters were animated too. Jackson has proven to me his computer animators have the greatest Kung Fu of all. An entire book could be written about the special effects in this movie, from the incredible recreation of 1930s New York, to the astonishing dinosaurs of Skull Island. I see it on the screen and I imagine the folks at Weta Digital are taunting me to find some error or inconsistency in their work. They know I’m going to have to scrutinise it a bunch of times just to find even minor errors.

King Kong is some three hours long, but the time goes by smoothly. I was never bored by it, and never was I seriously jarred out of the story by some terrible special effect, dumb character, or stupid line of dialog. For an action movie, really any movie, this is quite an achievement, a testament to the skill of the writers, the editor, the director, and the legions of digital artists. It’s definitely worth seeing in a big theatre and I hope it does well. 4/4.

King Kong
links by the IMDB

2005/12/22

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 01:56

Here we go again! I’m another year older. Yay me!

I don’t really feel any older, nor am I any fatter, balder or more decrepit, so I’ll take this status quo as a kindness from mother nature.

2005/12/20

Filth 2: The Cleansing

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 21:20

Computer filth is an abomination to be stamped out and cleansed.

The air gun and the brush, they comfort me. Their power is great. Every nook and cranny is set upon with compressed air. Every stain is cleansed with ethanol, mineral spirits and the holy Baby Wipe. Every fan is replaced.

This is the rejuvenated system partially reassembled. The cramped case and curious wiring yields few recabling solutions other than to tie it all up with lots of wire wraps. Cable loom could be nice, but our customer won’t likely pay for such extravagance.

Filthy computer

Filthy computer

2005/12/19

Filth

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 22:01

Computer technicians have nightmares about the bad things found inside computers.

Filthy computer

Filthy computer

Filthy computer

I keep thinking I should get a Flickr account and fill it with nothing but pictures of broken yucky computer hardware.

The old 2 megapixel digital camera doesn’t really capture the true filthiness of the thing. Some of the dust is so thick it looks like sprinklings of potting soil or maybe tailings from a tiny mine. It smells funky. Some of the dust-bunnies are so large they flutter in a breeze like scrubbrush tumbleweeds stuck on a wire fence. In the third photo, we think that black stuff in the lower right corner might be mold. No one wants to touch it to find out.

The funny thing is, a computer like this could come from the cleanest house. You just never know until you crack it open.

2005/12/18

Holiday Season LOTR

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 22:33

Holiday season is coming! Do you know what that means? All day Lord of the Rings marathon, that’s what!

Easiest thing in the world to do. Get you snack on, your drink on, and just sit an watch the three Lord of the Rings movies (Extended Editions!) back to back. All good!

Numenorean
Numenorean

To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?
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