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Or that’s what Ian Usher got for his, after auctioning it off on Ebay.

Usher said he wanted to start over after breaking up with his wife so he put it all up for sale: his possessions, house, car, motorcycle, introductions to his friends, even a trial-run at his old job. On Sunday the bidding closed at US$384,000. Not a bad sum I reckon, though Usher says he was hoping for more.

Now the obvious philosophical question to ask: is this really a ‘life’ or just a collection of things and phone numbers? I’m inclined to think the latter. Relationships are not the kinds of things that can be bought and sold like a jet ski.

You literally train your entire life to do a thing and then you really get to do that thing.  It’s like a dream come true.  You tell yourself you are going to take take on the world, call your own shots and you do.  You do it with such vigor it becomes your life, more important to you than anything else.  You know nothing else.

And you do it well.  So well, in fact, that thousands looked up to you for your skills.  They loved you for being you.  Not a movie star or some great leader, but a guy with talent.  A guy who was useful.  And for years, being useful made you feel great.  You had a purpose, and that’s better than most folks.

But every now and again, you’d get this niggling feeling that something wasn’t right, that what you were doing was becoming less fun, more tedious, more frustrating, maybe unprofitable… the path you had chosen may no longer be the right one.  But the feeling wasn’t something a new hack couldn’t distract you from.

As the years went on, the happy moments would become few and far between and less precious by the day.  That feeling of usefulness was fading.  It would come and go but then one day it hits.  It had become stunningly, blindingly obvious that your job, your self assigned purpose, your sole reason for being, wasn’t fun anymore.  It was no longer fulfilling, it fact, it had become a vicious chore. There were no new hacks, not really, just variations on the same theme.  Every day the same, only each was more frustrating than the last.  All the quirky little things you once delighted in were now like little knives cutting away at your soul.  “Suck it up, sunshine,” you’d tell yourself at first, but after a while of doing that you’d realize it was just a dumb macho line and you’d feel embarrassed for thinking it.

The job was your life and since you didn’t like it anymore, by extension, you didn’t like your life.  You’d quit, that would be the obvious thing to do, but you can’t just quit, oh no, way too deep now.  Too many many responsibilities, debts, obligations and the like.  Too many people counting on you to carry out your purpose.  To many people you owe, people you can never run from, some of them with power too frightening to imagine.  They will have you, one way or another.  Oh, they’ll have you.

The dream job you’d worked so long to build had inadvertently become a prison, nearly perfect, the kind you could only design for yourself.  A prison without escape.  With few friends, few resources, and no choices left, the only thing left to do is the time, even if it is a life sentence.

Do you suppose libertarians start off thinking that way or do they get made by the system? I’ve been having lots of anti-government thoughts lately…

Apparently the government in Japan has passed some obesity laws.  Not obscenity, obesity.  Think about that for a sec — legal penalties for being fat. Now read this short story. We might be closer to that future than you think.

All I can think to say is that people shouldn’t let do-gooder public health unit busybodies make them feel guilty for who they are. The idea that smokers and fat people cost society more money is a bald-faced lie. Complete bullshit. I defy any health official to show me a scientific study that proves it. It costs the same amount of money to treat a pack-a-day lung cancer victim as it does to treat a clean living brain cancer victim. The only difference is the smoker is likely not going to live into his nineties, thus saving our society tens of thousands of dollars in pension monies.

I’m going to plug a local business in this post.

If you’re in the Stratford downtown and looking for a decent snack without doing the whole restaurant thing, you could always give Mr. Kim’s a try. Mr. Kim runs a convenience store appropriately titled “The General Store” and he recently installed a take-a-way sushi counter inside.

The sushi is top notch. Mr. Kim favours big uramaki rolls rather than wussy little hosomaki ones, so a little takeout tub of eight rolls is more like a meal than a snack. Miso soup is offered at no extra cost and the wasabi is always fresh. Sometimes you even get fresh peas.

Although Mr. Kim claims the eel rolls are his best, if you really want a monster sushi experience, I highly recommend the “Sun Shine” roll. It’s a big California uramaki roll topped with spicy tuna, sesame seeds and fish eggs. Not only does it fill you up, it makes your mouth burn for a good half hour afterwards. Best enjoyed with a nice cold bottle of beer, which unfortunately, Mr. Kim cannot sell. Yet.

He even has a bunch of tables in front of his shop so you can enjoy your sushi outside.

Mr. Kim’s Sushi
136 Ontario Street, Stratford, Ontario, Canada

Wit is not dead, it’s just that most people aren’t witty.

I go to this business maybe once a year to upgrade their accounting software and other refinements.  It’s a farm-related enterprise and everyone who works there is a guy — a big, strong, beer-drinkin’, ball cap wearin’ farm boy.  The only girl in the place runs the office and since the boss doesn’t know jack shit about computers she’s my primary contact at the place.

Gorgeous, healthy farm girl.  Hair like a hardwood blaze.  She met the love of her life years ago and married him, but she never stopped being one of the boys.  She would delight in talking shit and being rude and over the years that camaraderie sort of spilled over to me.  It could all become quite crass, but I’d play along because, well, I’m a guy, and deep down I’m also a pig.  Her husband looks like a dark-haired version of Daniel Craig, yet quips like, “When are you going to ditch that loser and go out with a real man?” was the kind of thing that would put a smile on her face.

Anyway, I get to the site to do a software upgrade and she’s there.  I notice right away that she’s pregnant.  Knocked up… oh, this is rich.  In keeping with our fine tradition, I do off a zinger: “I see you’ve been up to some naughty stuff, girl.  You don’t get that way playing tiddlywinks.”

And to this she replied, “Well, it started with tiddlywinks.”

Best repartee, evar.  Gonna be a smart kid.

…that are not breakfast related.

They are seen by many as solely a breakfast food, but something like Bob’s Breakfast Sandwich is only one of the many things you can do with the humble English muffin. Here are some others I do. All of them take 10 minutes or less to make.

Tuna Muffin Sandwiches
Many people don’t realize that English muffins make great little luncheon or tea-time sandwiches, particularly if you get the more crumpet-like ones (have lots of little holes in the dough). Any sandwich filler is good, but tuna is probably my favourite. For a reason I can’t fully articulate it tastes really good with a toasted muffin. Makes four little sandwiches.

• 4 English Muffins
• 120g canned tuna (1 drained can)
• 8 sweet bread and butter pickles, the kind that are a few millimetres thick
• 1 green onion
• 3 tbsp mayonnaise
• 12 slices of English cucumber (optional)

This is my standard recipe for tuna salad, I’m sure you have one too. Finely chop the green onion and the pickles and combine them with the drained tuna and the mayo and mix it up well with a fork. Don’t drain the pickles until they’re completely dry, in fact, a few dashes of pickle juice is not a bad thing here.

Cut in half and toast the English muffins. Put a quarter of the tuna salad on one half, top with three slices of cucumber and cover with another half. If desired, put a thin coat of mayo on the top half. If you really want send it over the top, melt a slice of mozzarella cheese on the top half and then put the sandwich together.

Muffin Crab Alfredo
You can put this on pasta, but then you would have to boil up some pasta. Alfredo sauce sounds all complicated but it is actually the easiest stuff in the world to make. Makes two halves.

• 1 English muffin
• 1 tbsp butter
• 1/4 cup of table cream
• 2 tbsp grated Parmesan cheese (and it has to be real cheese, not that funny stuff with the cellulose in it)
• 2 tbsp grated mozzarella cheese
• 1/4 cup chopped imitation crab meat. Real crab meat can be used, of course, but this is hardly haute cuisine.
• 1 tsp of finely chopped parsley
• 1/4 tsp of granulated garlic

Traditionally, Alfredo sauce is made with butter, heavy cream and Parmesan cheese in the ratio of about 1:4:3. This recipe substitutes mozzarella cheese for some of the Parmesan and uses lighter cream.
Start by melting the butter in a tiny saucepan over low-medium heat. Add the cream, a bit at a time, stirring. Don’t let it bubble too strongly. When all the cream is incorporated add the parsley and the garlic. Next, slowly add the Parmesan cheese, constantly stirring. Let it bubble for a few minutes, stirring frequently, then slowly add the mozzarella, also stirring constantly. As the last of the cheese melts the sauce is going to thicken considerably, sort of like paste. If so, get it off the heat because it is done.  Put the crab in a bowl and nuke it for about a minute in microwave to get it warm. Place a pile of it on each toasted muffin half and drizzle on the sauce.

Pizza Muffin
Makes two of the little guys.

• 1 English muffin
• 2 tbsp pizza sauce
• 6 slices of pepperoni
• 4 tbsp of finely grated cheddar cheese
• 2 tsp per: pizza items. Pizza items can be anything you like on a pizza, as long as it is chopped up fairly fine. Onions, mushrooms, peppers, olives, etc…

Cut the muffin in half and toast it in the toaster. When this is done, put 1 tbsp of sauce on each half and scatter a tsp of each (or so) of your pizza stuff items on top. Top that with 3 slices of pepperoni and mush it down a bit. Then put on half of the cheese.

Nuke in the microwave for about one and a half minutes or until the cheese melts. Yum.

Garlic Cheese Muffin
This is pretty much the same deal as the pizzas. Makes two.

• 1 English muffin
• 1 tsp granulated garlic
• butter
• 4 tbsp finely grated cheddar cheese

Cut the muffin in half and toast it. Generously butter both halves and sprinkle the garlic on them. Top with the cheese. Although it works best in a toaster oven, you can also nuke it for a minute or so until the cheese melts.

English Onion Soup
Because not everyone keeps large French croutons around. Makes one bowl.

• 1/2 of an English muffin
• 400ml of onion soup (one 284ml tin of concentrate with some water)
• 1/4 cup grated mozzarella cheese (or if you are feeling really low down, a Kraft Single)

Toast the half of the English muffin in the toaster. Put the soup in a deep bowl or ramekin that is about the size of the muffin. A large latte cup is perfect. Float the muffin on top, cornmeal side down, and nuke for about a minute-and-a-half.  Put the cheese on top of that and nuke for another minute-and-a-half until the cheese melts.

Works nicely with vegetable soup too.

Some other applications of the English muffin:

• Hamburgers. English muffins fit smaller patties quite nicely
• Sloppy Joes. Toasted English muffins hold up quite well under the meat
• With Beans. A toasted muffin is quite good with baked beans on top
• Tomato sandwiches. One thick slice of tomato is all you need
• As Pancakes. Toasted ones are quite good with butter and maple syrup
• As Bagels. Very good with cream cheese and smoked salmon

Before I leave the subject for a while, here are some links I’ve collected over the last little while that might assist anyone interested in understanding just how ugly Bill C-61 is and why it needs to be stopped.

The original Copyright Act of 1985, which I figure only ever needed minor tweaking:
http://laws.justice.gc.ca/en/C-42/index.html

Bill C-61 itself:
http://www2.parl.gc.ca/HousePublications/Publication.aspx?DocId=3570473&Mode=1&Language=E

Michael Geist, a Law Professor at U of T, is one of the heaviest hitters we’ve got in this fight. He is a leading proponent of proper copyright reform. He has begun a series of posts explaining in layman’s terms how you will be breaking the law. For example, did you know that under C-61 when you record a TV program for later viewing you are not allowed to keep it afterwards? And if that’s not enough, Internet-based broadcasts (podcats) may never be recorded for later viewing.
http://www.michaelgeist.ca/

My original letter to my M.P., the Hon Gary Schellenberger, which I have sent again.
http://www.cobolhacker.com/?p=462

The more modern posting of mine (from Monday) which I’m also seriously thinking of sending because eloquent pleas didn’t work last time, so maybe angry ranting will.
http://www.cobolhacker.com/?p=737

Recording Industry vs The People, which chronicles the tens of thousands of extortionate lawsuits the RIAA has launched against Americans they think are sharing music online. If C-61 passes, this will happen in Canada too.
http://recordingindustryvspeople.blogspot.com/

Some other select resources:
http://www.cbc.ca/technology/story/2008/06/12/tech-copyright.html
http://www.faircopyright.ca/
http://www.thesudburystar.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=1074217&auth=THE+ST.+CATHERINES+STANDARD
http://www.nationalpost.com/todays_paper/story.html?id=590280&p=2
http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20080611-riaa-doubles-settlement-cost-for-students-fighting-subpoenas.html

Or even just Google it:

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=bill+c-61&btnG=Search

Your government has sold you out to the Americans on this one. Are you going to sit back and just let it happen? Write your MP and tell him how you feel and tell everyone you know just how bad this proposed copyright bill is.

Software is considered a copyright work just like a song or a video is. CD images (ISOs) and “no CD” cracks, while they can be used for piracy, can also be used to enhance the enjoyment of a software program. I buy all my games, but I use images and cracks so I don’t have to stick in the disc every time I want to play one of those games. This protects my frail old optic drive from wear and serves to protect the original disc from damage.

“That’s illegal,” you might be inclined to think, but it’s actually not. Current laws say nothing about modifying software I own for my own purposes. It might be against the software’s End User Licence Agreement, but every lawyer knows these things are likely unenforceable and that’s why you’ve never seen someone in Canada get hauled up before the courts for using a hack on software they legally own. If you want an analogy, think of de-spining a book and putting it in a ringed binder. I used to do this all the time in College. It is not illegal to do this.

But the system for demanding the user put in the disc to play could be easily argued to be a technological measure to prevent unauthorized access to a work and dodging it is therefore a no-no under Section 41.1(1) of the proposed Bill C-61.

41.1 (1) No person shall

(a) circumvent a technological measure within the meaning of paragraph (a) of the definition “technological measure” in section 41;

(b) offer services to the public or provide services if

(i) the services are offered or provided primarily for the purposes of circumventing a technological measure,

(ii) the uses or purposes of those services are not commercially significant other than when they are offered or provided for the purposes of circumventing a technological measure, or

(iii) the person markets those services as being for the purposes of circumventing a technological measure or acts in concert with another person in order to market those services as being for those purposes; or

(c) manufacture, import, provide — including by selling or renting — offer for sale or rental or distribute any technology, device or component if

(i) the technology, device or component is designed or produced primarily for the purposes of circumventing a technological measure,

(ii) the uses or purposes of the technology, device or component are not commercially significant other than when it is used for the purposes of circumventing a techno- logical measure, or

(iii) the person markets the technology, device or component as being for the purposes of circumventing a technological measure or acts in concert with another person in order to market the technology, device or component as being for those purposes.

What this means in plain English is that you may not break down any form of copy protection and I can’t provide software or services to do it for you. $20,000 per infringement. Now 41.12(2) does state:

(2) Paragraph 41.1(1)(b) does not apply to a person who offers services to the public or provides services for the purposes of circumventing a technological measure if the person does so for the purpose of making the computer program and any other computer program interoperable.

And 41.15(1) and 41.15(2) state:

(1) Paragraph 41.1(1)(a) does not apply to a person who circumvents a technological measure that is subject to that paragraph for the sole purpose of, with the consent of the owner or administrator of a computer, computer system or computer network, assessing the vulnerability of the computer, system or network or correcting any security flaws.

(2) Paragraph 41.1(1)(b) does not apply if the services are provided to a person described in subsection (1).

So you can get rid of nasty DRM bundled with software and discs, but only if you can prove the software is a security risk or doesn’t interoperate with another program. This sounds all well and good, but under C-61 the onus falls on you, if you were ever taken to task for it, to prove that this was so. Can you imagine trying to argue to a judge that you used a crack on a game because it didn’t work well with Alcohol 120% (which, under C-61 is probably illegal to distribute anyway). Uphill battle, to be sure.

But the biting part of it, is you don’t find an exemption clause for getting rid of annoying DRM systems like CD checks. If it doesn’t cause interoperability problems or poses a security risk you can’t circumvent it, even if it is incredibly annoying thing like having to stick the CD in every time you play.

Just one more tiny freedom of ours they are trying to take away.

Here’s a little taste about how ridiculous Bill C-61 is.

This dude made backup copies of all his “Friends” DVDs. 238 episodes. Since CSS has to be defeated to backup video on a DVD he figures that under Bill C-61, he’ll be on the hook for damages to the tune of $4,760,000. All because he wanted to make backups (because DVDs never get damaged, oh no).

You knew they were going to make it a no-no to give a copy of an MP3 to a buddy (Section 29.22(1)(e)) but here’s another little unintended consequence that just occurred to me. You rip songs off of a CD (a non-copy protected one) to put on your iPod, which C-61 allows you to do (29.22(1)). But then you lose the original disc. Since you have no way of proving that you didn’t give it away, you would be in violation of Section 29.22(4) unless you also erase them from the iPod too.

It will literally turn millions of Canadians into criminals, they say. Activities you thought were perfectly normal like loading up an iPod could become crimes. Here are two good articles [1][2] about some of the everyday implications if Bill C-61 is passed. It’s also worth noting that, as I mentioned before, big media will surely up the ante by making sure everything they sell has some kind of copy control technology on it. In this way they can sue you for $20,000 per infringement as opposed to $500.

via Michael Geist