cobolhacker.com

2008/8/25

Freedom and the Olympic Games

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 22:24

Did they put on a great Olympiad?  Of course they did.  One of the things you can count on when it comes to authoritarian states like China is that the trains will always be on time and the Olympic Games will come off without a hitch.  Everyone in the People’s Republic worked hard for it.  Either that or the gulag, right?  Poor old China seems to generate a lot of bad press these days.

http://www.cbc.ca/olympics/story/2008/08/24/olympics-closing-ceremony-report.html

This is typical of a 2008 Olympiad posting at the CBC.  The commenters tend to fall into two camps: the “China can do no wrong” camp or the “China is evil” camp.  The first camp are funny to listen to because they are very likely: people living in China who are afraid to speak ill of the government; Chinese people getting paid to do this by the PRC; or Chinese people living in Canada who left China but still inexplicably think it’s the best country on Earth (so why did you leave in the first place?)  The second camp are predictable and boring, like most bleeding hearts are.  Yes, yes, yes, it is a totalitarian state.  So what?  Much of the world is.  You live here, be thankful.

“German sport has only one task: to strengthen the character of the German people, imbuing it with the fighting spirit and steadfast camaraderie necessary in the struggle for its existence.”

– Joseph Goebbels

Things don’t change that much.  Like China at Beijing, Germany won the most gold medals in 1936 at Berlin.  ‘36 was considered a great Games in spite of the fact that it also served nicely as Nazi propaganda and not long after the Nazis started the worst war in human history.  Now I’m not comparing communists to Nazis, though I do find it interesting that the more screwed up a government is, the more authoritarian it is.  Just saying…

My main problem with the Olympics is it has become this crazed nationalistic thing.  Maybe it always has been.  It’s hard to not get caught up in the excitement, what with cheering for your country and all, but by and large, most people, indeed, most nations, miss the point of the Olympics, seeing it as a way of advancing some kind of national agenda.

China, for example, doesn’t give a shit about amateur sport.  Since when does excelling at sport have anything to do with building a great communist society?  So why did China host the Olympics? Why does any non-West nation want to do it?  To prove to the West that they are awesome.  Commies, in particular, have always had this hard-on for proving to the democratic West, specifically the Americans, that they can be awesome too, even if it is somewhat contrary to the goal of a society where everyone is supposed to be equal.  Soviet Russia tried to do it for years.

Now as for me, I’m philosophical about the whole thing.  I’m a bit of a moral absolutionist so I tend to relate to that second group, but at the same time I am pragmatic.  I know there is nothing Canada can really do to change China.  There is no military, social or economic force that a nation of 33 million can exert on a nation of 1.3 billion that will be noticed.  Hell, there’s nothing the West can do.  The people of China outnumber all the people in the Western World nearly 2 to 1.

So what I’m thinking is that maybe we shouldn’t even try to change China.  If the Chinese people are really happy with their mobile execution squads, their Tiananmen square massacre, their Great Firewall, their fantastic commie government, and the millions of people that Mao killed, then fine, we got no call to stop ‘em.  If a billion proletarians don’t want to rise up to stop it then logically we must be wrong about this whole freedom thing.  Maybe that’s just what the Chinese like.  As long as they do it over there and not here.

And hey, they put on a pretty good Olympic Games.  Good looking stadium; great opening ceremonies.  Freedom?  This is China and the place is changing all the time.  Maybe next year.

The Bat Must Go

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 00:44

I haven’t given you flight clearance, not in this house, not ever, you motherfucker.

Some crack I missed, some hole I didn’t fill… yeah,yeah,yeah… and yet you find a way in, nevertheless.  Fuck you.

But the girls figured it out right quick.  They started jumping and that’s when I knew it was game time.  Cats aren’t stupid, you know.  You’re flappin’ around, doing whatever, and now I’m pissed.  You don’t get to fly around in my boys’ rooms.  In any of my rooms.  You get the fuck out now!

The front door is open for a reason.  Use it.

But if that’s not your game, I’ll play.  I’m on the floor and I can see you flying overhead.  I have a flashlight and a towel.  Oh YES.  My tools.  If I catch you, you’re fucking dead.  I will find you with the light and smother you with the towel and throw you in the fucking trash.  Don’t think I won’t; I’m a human and I’m a ruthless killer.  All humans are.

The door, the door, the door, TAKE IT FOR FUCK SAKES!

Good for you.  I’m going to close these doors and forget this ever happened.  Don’t come back.  Eat those mosquitoes, do your part for the ecosystem, whatever, just don’t come back here.  We aren’t partial to bats here.

2008/8/22

Furry

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 09:36

Computer fur comes in many forms.

Mmm…  furry.

2008/8/20

C61: Still Coming To Get You…

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 08:58

It’s still out there.  Summer doesn’t make it go away.

Micheal Geist has been tirelessly blogging all summer about the evil Bill C-61.  An article he wrote for the Toronto Star very nicely sums up one of the many ways you are going to get screwed if it is passed.  Being a criminal for using a PVR?  Now that’s nuts.

If passed, C-61 instantly makes millions of Canadians criminals and liable for substantial civil penalties.  Remember, it’s up to $20,000 per infringement.  This is what the media industry lawyers want.  This is what they dream of.  They’re sharpening up their pencils and drooling at the thought of taking your money away. The kind of cash they are going to make on fees…

If you care at all about not getting your ass sued off by nasty American-owned media companies, give Geist’s stuff a read.  Then call up your MP and tell him that you DO NOT WANT Bill C-61.

2008/8/18

probably not something you want to blog about

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 10:07

1:57:02 PM: CSG is in her summer attire — it must be hot out.

1:59:42 PM: CSG?

2:00:37 PM: I never told you about CSG?

2:01:00 PM: the Cigarette Smoking Girl

2:01:08 PM: she works in the shoe store

2:01:40 PM: Nope, never heard about her.

2:02:05 PM: she’s like me — she wears more or less the same outfit every day. speaks very little. very enigmatic.

2:02:14 PM: hence the name.

2:03:07 PM: heh

2:04:55 PM: there’s also Happy Girl and Thin Girl

2:06:18 PM: Happy Girl always seems very happy to be selling shoes. Thin Girl is very thin and never smiles. You never see them on the same shift, probably because Pat knows they would cancel each other out on a quantum level, possibly bringing about the end of the Universe.

2:08:07 PM: You have spent to much time thinking about this :)

2:08:22 PM: probably ;)

2:08:44 PM: i see these people pretty well every day, but only for a few seconds.

2:09:49 PM: i’m sure there are some killer social studies to be made about the people you see every day, yet know nothing about

2:10:45 PM: Probably not something you want to blog about though.

2:10:57 PM: hmm….

2008/8/15

Ode to the Carl G

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 21:21

The Carl GWhen I was 18, I almost joined the CF Reserves because they said I’d get to fire one of these.  At the time, I didn’t want to see the world, fight for peace or nail bad guys, I just wanted to blow shit up and this looked like a fine way to do it.  The recruiter even let me hold one and load it with a dummy round, you know… to get the scent.  (They also let me play with a C7, a C9 and a Browning Hi-Power.)

Ahhh, the Carl Gustav.  One of the best anti-tank weapons ever made.  Basically, it’s a metre long pipe with a trigger that fires an 84 millimetre high explosive boom-boom.  It was developed in the late 40s so infantry could kill bigger tanks.  These days it isn’t likely to kill a modern main battle tank, but older tanks, APCs, cars, trucks, bunkers, houses, terrorists, etc… all of them are fair game, it’s why so many armies still use it.  Your car?  Chunked.

Unfortunately it was implied that I’d have to cut my hair if I joined… so I never did get to blow stuff up with one. :(

The Dumb Banner

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 08:41

A dumb banner ad

As many have figured out, the Internet is a gigantic stupidity clearinghouse.  This banner, for example, claims to have been seen by most of the people of Earth.  How can you say no to that?  I must click!  I have won!!! YAY ME!

Gosh, they must have cost a lot of money to give away so many prizes…

2008/8/12

No-Fail Rosemary Bread Recipe

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 07:02

One of the activities I’ve taken to in the last little while is making bread by hand.  I highly recommend the activity, not just for stress relief, but also to improve arm strength.  At the rate I’m going I’ll have have arms like Popeye before long.  It is also quite economical.  You can create a loaf for around 75 cents and that certainly beats the 3 bucks you pay for one of these at the local grocery store.  This recipe makes a round, slightly spiced country loaf called a boule.  It doesn’t require a bread pan or a proofing basket to make, though you can certainly use these tools if you like.  Boules made without a mold are wider than they are tall, but a half-inch slice off of one, cut in half, makes for a perfect sandwich and the heels are great for dipping.

Bob’s No-Fail Rosemary Bread Recipe

version 7.  Makes one boule.  Takes two hours to make.

I’ve been using this recipe for 15 years and it never does me wrong.  Two hours sounds sort of scary, but only 15 minutes of it is actual work.  The rest of the time you are waiting for things to happen so you can do other things.  If you like whole wheat bread, substitute one cup of white flour for one of whole wheat flour.  Using two cups of whole wheat flour ups the game somewhat and adds an element of risk; it is hard to keep the loaf from getting dense without using other leavening agents, though not impossible.

In a steel mixing bowl combine:

  • 2 cups of white flour
  • 1 teaspoon of salt
  • 1 tablespoon of sugar
  • 2 1/4 tablespoons of dry active baker’s yeast (1 packet).  Make sure it is fresh.
  • 1 tablespoon of dried rosemary leaves
  • 2 teaspoons of dried marjoram
  • 1 teaspoon dried parsley

Mix all of that together with a spoon and add:

  • 2 tablespoons of melted butter or vegetable oil
  • 1 cup of very warm water

The water cannot be cold, nor can it be scalding, but it has to be too warm to be comfortable to your hand.  This will activate the yeast.  Mix it with your spoon until all the flour has been taken up into the dough.  It will be very sticky.  Roll it out on to a clean, smooth, dry, lightly floured surface and knead the dough.  While you are doing this, add, a bit at a time:

  • 3/4 to 1 cup of white flour

Knead the dough for at least 10 minutes.  Push it down hard with your hands then fold it over in half, turn it one quarter and repeat.  Always pushing down and away from yourself.  Over and over and over.  This is the stress reducing bit!  If the dough is sticking to your hands, you need more flour.  Nearing the end, after most or all of the remaining flour is incorporated, the dough is going to get harder to knead.  Don’t back down, knead that sucker all the way to the end.  By the time you are done the dough will be tacky, but not sticky, and will be somewhat springy.  You can pull on it and it will spring back slightly as if there were a few rubber bands in it.  This is what you want, the formation of gluten.

Clean your bowl.  Dry it completely.  Lightly oil it with cooking spray, butter or vegetable oil.  Round the dough into a ball and place it in the centre.  Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and place it someplace warm so it can proof.  I use my oven for this.  I turn it to ‘bake’, then turn it off when the inside is warm, but not hot, to the touch.  I knead the bread for the 10 minutes and by the time I’m done, the oven is about right — lukewarm to the touch.  Leave the dough to rise for 45 minutes, until it has about doubled in size.

When it is done proofing, the dough will be sort of spongy.  Turn it out on to a floured surface and ‘punch it down’.  In other words, knead it again for about a minute to get any gas bubbles out.  I know this might seem counter-productive but if your yeast is good, it will rise again, better than before.  Begin forming it into a ball, not like a snowball, but by constantly pulling the dough away from the top and around the sides toward the bottom.  This will round the top and form a little fold at the bottom.  Flip it over and pinch the fold closed.  Make sure it is ball-shaped.

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit.  Have two racks in the oven, one right in the middle, and one right below it.

Place the ball of dough on a well-floured cookie sheet, fold side down.  Using a sharp knife, score the top half of the dough with long cuts around a quarter inch deep, maybe an inch apart.  If desired, do them crosswise too.  This isn’t just for show, the cuts allow the dough to rise quickly before the yeast is killed by the heat of the oven.  Otherwise it might not rise and it will be dense and tough like a biscuit.  Lightly flour the top if you like — that’s for show.  While the oven is heating, let the dough rest for around 10 minutes before you stick it in.  If everything is working as it should, during this phase it will visibly rise.

Large commercial bakeries use steam injectors to keep the oven slightly humid during the initial baking phase in order to produce a nicer, softer crust.  Since I don’t have an oven that can do this, I have come up with a cheap-and-nasty solution.  Pour one cup of water into a cake pan and put it on the lower rack while the oven is heating.  When the oven has reached 450, put the cookie tray with the loaf on it on the centre rack.  As soon as the door is shut, immediately turn the heat down to 350.  Bake the loaf for 50 minutes or so, until the bottom sounds hollow when you tap it.  Remove the cake pan and any water that remains in it after 25 minutes.  Also resist the urge to open the oven for the first 15 minutes, as this lets all the humidity out.

Your kitchen will smell like rosemary.  When the loaf is baked, turn it out on to a cake rack, or if you haven’t got one of those, one of the elements on an electric stove top (assuming it is clean).  Let it cool until it is warm (15 minutes) then enjoy; bread is always best when fresh.  If you want to save it, wait until it is room temperature then seal it in a plastic bag. It will keep for two weeks, maybe longer.

You could make this with a bread maker machine, but having tried it both ways I’ve come to the conclusion that while more time consuming, bread made by hand is tastier and certainly more satisfying.

2008/8/10

Hi-Tech Races

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 08:32

Check out the heart pounding excitement of… a soldering competition.  Fastest to make the part wins.  Should I go out for sport?  I ain’t so old yet and there are PC building contests too.  I could be a champ…

The guys in the PC building contest seem to have started from unpacked parts.  The fastest time I have ever seen a personal computer assembled from packaged parts in boxes into a finished tower that POSTs is 16 minutes.  This record was not set by me, but by my good buddy Rob, back when he worked for me.  I remember he once built eight machines for me in one afternoon.  Now that’s a champ.

2008/8/9

12:15 and my sink is fucked

Filed under: General — cobolhacker @ 11:28

you see, the building my shop is in is falling apart.

it’s been going to shit for years.  the air conditioner is fucked, the parking lot has fucking sinkholes, even the the toilet is half fucked.  and now this: the sink in the bathroom is fucked.  the drainpipe has fallen off and now water just spills out on the fucking floor. i don’t know how this fucking happens, but it has.  naturally, i only discover this after taking a shit in the half fucked toilet so now i have to try to get the stink off my hands with fucking baby wipes.

this shit building really tries my patience some days.

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