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One of the more maddening things that XP does, or rather doesn’t do, is allow you to rename a network printer (or more technically, change its ‘friendly’ name).  XP thinks it knows best and will have given the networked printer a friendly name like:

HP Officejet K60 on BOOGER

If you right-click on it, you will find the option to rename it is not there like it is with physically attached printers.  This also applies to the ‘Auto’ printers that XP finds on the network as well.

Microsoft says that you can’t do it.  Why?  I have no idea.  But as it turns out, you can ‘rename’ your network printer — by simply re-attaching it as a ‘local’ printer.  I’m going to use the Officejet attached to my trusty computer BOOGER as an example, but obviously your computer and printer names will be different than mine.

Go to the Printers applet in the Control Panel.  Right-click on the affected printer and select Properties.  Click on the Advanced tab and look at the box beside Driver.  The full name of the printer driver will be in that box, with the manufacturer’s name first (eg. HP Officejet K60).  Make note of this.

If you already know the NETBIOS name of your printer, skip this paragraph.  In the left pane of the Printers and Faxes window, click Add A Printer.  The Add Printer Wizard will appear.  Click Next to skip the Welcome screen.  Check the radio button next to A Network Printer and click Next.   Browse should already be highlighted so click Next.  A browsing box of sorts will appear and the host computer should be listed below the line that says “Microsoft Windows Network”.  In the example above the ‘host’ is BOOGER.  Double click on him and the list will expand slightly with the host’s available printers listed below its name.  These are the ‘real’ names of the printers (the NETBIOS name).  In BOOGER’s case, the printer’s real name is “Printer2″.  Make a note of your printer’s real name and click Cancel.

You now have the following information: the manufacturer of the printer (HP), the model name (Officejet K60), the host name (BOOGER) and the printer’s real name (Printer2).

Click Add A Printer again.  Next.  Select Local Printer Attached To This Computer.  I know that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but when did computers ever make sense?  When it asks to Select A Printer Port, select Create A New Port.  Select Local Port in the dropdown list.  Click Next.  A little box will appear, asking for the Port Name.  Enter in two backslashes followed by the host name, then a single blackslash, followed by the printer’s real name.  No spaces!  If we reference our example above, the name will look like this:

\\BOOGER\Printer2

Windows will prompt you to Install Printer Software.  The driver for the printer is already installed on your PC, so you need only to select it from the list.  In the left list, select the manufacturer (HP).  In the right list, select your model (HP Officejet K60).  Click Next.

Here’s the part you’ve been waiting for.  Windows will present you with a screen offering up a default printer name and an option to make the printer your default printer.  The Printer Name textbox lets you change the printer name to anything you want.

The following screens it will ask you if you want to share it (no) and print a test page (yes).  If a test page pops out you’ve done it.  In fact, even after the deed is done, if you right-click on your new printer, you’ll find the option to rename is now back on the menu.

Can’t rename a network printer?  Bah!

I haven’t added it up yet, but as much as 60 centimetres of snow has fallen in the last few days.  All up and down the street, people slowly labour to clean the snow from their driveways again.  The nice lady across the street has been going at it for at least half an hour longer than me and she’s only moved a fraction of the snow she needs.

45 minutes into it and I realize the only thing I’ve really managed to accomplish is to dig a trench from the front door to the side door.  This is how it goes in much of Canada during the winter and if you live someplace where it rarely snows then I respectfully ask you to screw off.

I gaze in awe at the end of the driveway.  The Snowplow Gods have not been kind to me today.  I have the misfortune of having the first driveway next to an intersection.  The plow can pick up a truly awesome amount of snow coming around that corner.  I estimate there is 8 cubic metres of snow at the end of the driveway.  Clearing it is my labour – if I don’t do it, then my neighbour Dean will have to do it because we share the driveway.

I begin to dig into it.  It is long, frustrating work.  Because Dean cleared it yesterday, there is no longer any room on top of the banks beside the driveway.  The snow just rolls back down the hill.  I have to take shovel after shovel 10 paces back to pile it on the front lawn.  It takes me around 10 minutes to move maybe one cubic metre so a simple mental calculation tells me that it’s going take another hour to do this.

A giant pickup truck with a plow on the front pulls up and carries out his snow removal contract at the little apartment building across the street from me.  He’s got the heater cranked up in the truck and has the windows open.  I watch him with envy.  Then something wondrous happens.  He pulls up next to me and says, “How about this weather, eh?  I’ve been at this since two!  Back up and let me do a pinch for you!”  By two, he means 2 am.

He puts the truck in gear and does in 15 seconds what was going to take me an hour.  When he backs around to take a ‘pinch’ out of the other side of the driveway I tell him, “I don’t have any money,” figuring he was going to ask for a $20 or something.

“No man.  Not on a day like today.”

I’m stunned at first.  These people are often really crusty.  “Thanks!” I say, “and merry Chirstmas!”  He grins so I say, “And if you are really feeling like a do right man, help out Maureen across the street.  She’s been at it even longer than me.”

“You read my mind.  Merry Christmas!”  He drives across the street and takes care of Maureen’s driveway too.  Then he waves and drives off.  Didn’t get his name, there was no logo on the side of his truck.  Random act of kindness, I guess.  Happy Birthday me.

Hmm… it really is my birthday today.

Millions of Canadians use Bell Sympatico as their Internet Service Provider :(

Going into detail about why that is bad is beyond the scope of this post, but two of the most maddening things about Sympatico is their use of exotic settings for their email accounts and their lack of support for Mozilla Thunderbird.

The setup wizard of Thunderbird will not set up an account properly.  This requires you to edit the account settings yourself to get it to work.

Anyway, the basic settings are:

• Incoming POP3 server: pophm.sympatico.ca
• This server requires SSL and must use port 995.
• User name: your full email address eg. user@sympatico.ca
• If this is your only Sympatico email account, your email password is typically the same as your Internet access password.  They often start with a ‘b’, eg. b343cq8n.
  
• Outgoing SMTP server: smtphm.sympatico.ca
• SMTP requires authentication, with the same user name and password.  It also wants encryption, in the form of TLS, and uses port 25.

When you run the wizard program for Thunderbird it only asks for the usual stuff, not about SSL or ports.  To modify your email settings in Thunderbird, click on the menu item Tools, then Account Settings.  You will get a window that looks like this:

On the left hand pane, click Server Settings.  The right hand portion of the window will change.  On the right hand pane, make sure that Server Name is set to pophm.sympatico.ca.  Select SSL by clicking on the radio button beside it.  This should automatically change the Port to 995.  Make sure your email address is entered correctly in the User Name text box.

In the left pane, cruise on down to Outgoing Server (SMTP).  It will present you with a list of SMTP servers, there should only be the one.  Select it and click the Edit button.  A new, tiny window will appear.  Where it says Server Name make sure that smtphm.sympatico.ca is in there.  Check the checkbox beside Use Name And Password.  Make sure your email address is in the User Name text box below it.  Under the heading Use Secure Connection, select the radio button next to TLS, If Available.  The Port should still be set to 25. Click OK to exit the tiny window and OK again to exit the Account Settings window.

Thunderbird will ask for passwords the first time it tries to access the servers.  Enter the password in the box provided.  If you don’t want it to keep asking, check the Save Password check box.

That should do it for ya.

Outlook Express users: your set up instructions are here.

If you have already enjoyed this hilarious meme, move along.  I’m writing it down so I don’t lose the links.

One of the little jokes that Jimmy Kimmel often does when he ends his talk show is to thank everyone and then apologize to Matt Damon for running out of time and not being able to talk to him.  One day, Kimmel actually welcomed Damon on to the show, only to tell him after a long ovation from the audience, that they had actually run out of time.  Damon was not amused.

So a couple of years later, Damon got his revenge by convincing Jimmy’s girlfriend, comedienne Sarah Silverman, to show up on Kimmel’s show and explain (by way of a music video) why she was dumping him: she was fucking Matt Damon.

Not to be outdone, Kimmel decided to make his own silly music video to rile up Damon, “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck“.  The video is notable for the sheer number of celebrities Kimmel rounds up to help him.

All of this was apparently planned, but enough people thought that Damon was genuinely pissed off so I guess the producers thought they might have a bit of fun with it.  In reality, Damon is happily married with some kids, and Kimmel and Silverman have been together for years and still are, I believe.

I have finally arrived as a parent.  I no longer make sense, even to myself.

My youngest boy is three and has this thing for playing with water in the sink.  Normal thing for little boys to do, I figure.  Besides, it keeps the drain clean.

The other day, I catch him pouring water into the sink with a banana muffin, carefully eaten down from the top so that it is now like a bowl.  I take the soggy mess of it from him and he protests, insisting that, “The water goes down the drain!”

I blurt out, “Muffins aren’t toys.”  There’s a line.  Yeah.  Oh yeah.

Still, he seems to accept the explanation and busies himself with filling up a plastic cup.  I look at the dead muffin in the trash.  I seem to recall a line from Firefly: “So this is what going mad feels like.”  No, this is what being a parent is like.

You hear the familiar *thump* of the pilot lighting up the burner and the happy rumbling of the valve assembly throttling up to full power.  Soon the fan, triggered by a thermal switch, kicks in and lovely warm air begins to come through the registers.  I pay the natural gas company solid money to keep me supplied with fuel and their system has never let me down.

But every now and again digital thermostat which controls the 40 year old innards of our furnace (that we can’t really afford to replace because we are poor) fails to cycle.  Its got this relay thing that closes the 240VAC loop (or whatever) to make the old core start up.  Normally this works fine, but sometimes the relay gets stuck.  It hums like it wants to work, but the burner doesn’t kick on.  The solution: hit the relay with something hard.  Not like a full on smashing, but a brisk little whack.  Not exactly high tech but it works and frankly it’s cheaper than calling the furnace guys who, after five years and nearly 400 bucks, still haven’t actually fixed the bastard.

So I’m looking at it now, it has decided not to cycle and the temperature has gone down to 17.  This is no good.  I’m not in the mood for it.  I’m tired.  I’m cold.  I’ve been working all day and I’m really don’t need this now.  I want fuckin’ heat.

I have a beer in my hand.  You know, that bottle is pretty hard.

*whack*

*thump*

Problem solved.

As of today, Canada, my home, has no government.*

The Governor General granted Stephen Harper’s request to have parliament prorogued (suspended) until January.  This is different than the House of Commons simply taking a break.  They are not allowed now, by our own laws, to create bills and pass them, do any government stuff like create new laws or budgets or that sort of thing.  No business at all in the House.  Our country is now effectively headless.

Now having said all that, the rule of law is still around.  Cops still walk the beat, judges rule on cases and all that.  The civil service isn’t stopping, so don’t expect the taxman to start ignoring you now.  The economy, troubled though it is, doesn’t stop either and rest assured your banker is still wasting your money and stupid auto manufacturers are still begging for your money (though they won’t get it because we can’t pass any new laws).

Anarchy is generally defined as being “the absence of any political system” but also “political disorder and confusion”.  The first one is now literally true on a federal level, even if it is only temporary.  This is first time this has ever happened in Canada, a real historical moment.

We’ll be OK.  Belgium managed to survive without a government for 196 days and if the Belgians can do it, I’m sure we can too.  So enjoy!  Our dreams have become true.  We have finally got rid of all the politicians!  Now begin the Days of Anarchy.  At least until January.

….

* Save for the HRH The King/Queen of Canada, who is nice as a backup, but who also hasn’t passed any real law in this country since 1867, when she told us to start making our own laws.

That’s like the best headline ever.

Who woulda thought that people liked to get stoned 2700 years ago.  Wonder how they dealt with the munchies back then?