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15. Poor Bastard of Year: Conrad Black
Even though there are plenty of domestic crooks in the U.S., Black was singled out and convicted of fraud. I don’t know precisely what he did wrong — I don’t think many people do — but whatever it was it must have been very bad because they gave him 78 months in the slam for it. Black was an arrogant prick and probably had it coming, but six and a half years? Sorry about your luck, mate.

14. Pretty Gadget of the Year: iPhone
After having played with one for a while, I’m still convinced that the device is more about the pretty than it is about the practical. Still, it is one of the smartest looking electronic gadgets I’ve played with in a while and its sleek design makes all your friends jealous. Until they realize that you paid $600 for it.

13. Software Screwup of the Year: Windows Vista
Hyped as the next generation of PC operating systems, Windows Vista has proven to be nothing more than a buggy face-lift of Windows XP. The scope of the failure is remarkable: even though they had thousands of programmers, billions of dollars and a five year development cycle, Microsoft still only managed to deliver a passable chess game and a cool task switcher. And as a bonus, it’s slow as hell! Microsoft apologists still herald Vista as the next great leap of course, and that’s their prerogative, though I reckon they privately wonder why their brand new quad core computers seem slower than the old junker in the basement.

12. Hack of the Year: Dan Egerstad Cracks Tor
Or rather, he publicly demonstrated that people didn’t understand the tool they were using. The free Tor service is used around the world to mask the origin of Internet sessions, mostly for finding porn, but also sometimes for sensitive government work. The only problem is masking the client’s origin is all that Tor does and apparently most of its users don’t realize this. Tor does not protect or encrypt the traffic its volunteer nodes are forwarding. All Egerstad needed to do to ‘break’ it was install a node, watch the traffic and collect data. He gained access to hundreds of high-value government email accounts and yet when he told governments about this problem, they paid no attention. That was, until he posted the information publicly and then — surprise, surprise — all hell broke loose.

11. Scientific Achievement of the Year: Fluorescent Cats
It’s important, not so much because the researchers were able to clone mammals with modified genes, but because they did it in such a blatant way, producing glow-in-the-dark cats. While the goal of the research is noble, and useful, the delivery is troubling. Such experiments mark the beginning of capricious genetic engineering which is a dark and dangerous road to be going down. Look for two-headed poodles next.

10. Political Event of the Year: The Assassination of Benazir Bhutto
It’s been a while since such an influential politician was murdered. She was once the President of Pakistan, and still a major player in that nation’s politics. By most accounts she was a competent leader and obviously loyal to her people. The problem for some, I suspect, was that she was a woman. And for all the attention being paid to the politics of the situation, it’s easy to forget she was also a wife and a mother. So sadly, the bad guys got what they wanted: an important person was killed so a nation could be thrown into chaos.

9. Album of the Year: In Rainbows
In addition to being critically acclaimed, Radiohead’s new album dared to do something different. A high-quality version of it was sold online for whatever fans wanted to pay, even nothing. This is the first time such a high profile band has done so. And to the surprise and possibly terror of recording industry executives around the world, many of the fans offered money and by some estimates Radiohead has made millions off of the endeavor. Is this the beginning of the end of the ‘industry’ part of the music industry? You already know what I think of it. Time will tell.

8. Film of the Year: 300
Over the top violence, Greeks with Scottish accents, dodgy historical accuracy, corny dialog and more six packs than a liquor store, yet 300 still managed to be entertaining. In addition to making big money for its studio, it generated astounding amounts of press, both good and bad, and turned Gerald Butler into an sex icon for both women and men. Though not particularly historically accurate, 300 offered a simple, exaggerated, emotional and (dare I say it?) inspirational story told in exactly the outrageous way the ancient Greeks liked to tell their stories. Herodotus would have loved it.

7. Video Game of the Year: Portal
Intended as merely the ‘extra’ game in Valve’s Orange Box, Portal has gone on to outshine the rest of the titles included. The odd game play, moist cake, brilliant black humour, and that messed up little song… no other video game has generated so many positive reviews this year, not even Halo 3. Even Croshaw liked it and he’s a hard guy to please. Portal is proof that making an entertaining game is as much about the writing as it is about the code.

6. Kiss of the Year: Richard Gere and Shilpa Shetty
Actors are a touchy-feely bunch, we just accept it as normal around here, but apparently they don’t in India. Gere caused an uproar there when he gave a playful kiss on the cheek to fellow actor Shetty at a AIDS awareness event. People were not amused and soon effigies of the man were ablaze. Protests were held, people jumped and screamed and thousands marched in the streets. A court in India was apparently outraged enough to issue a warrant for their arrests, an order which was overturned later by the supreme court. Bet you can’t do all that with your kisser.

5. Stunt Casting of the Year: Kylie Minogue in Doctor Who
Americans might scratch their heads at this one, but in much of the Commonwealth, the plucky pop-singer is considered a megastar. Maybe not so much in Canada, but don’t lie, you did The Locomotion too. Casting her as Astrid Peth in the Voyage of the Damned Christmas special is the British equivalent of casting Madonna for a role in Lost. And yeah, “Astrid” is an anagram of “Tardis” (this is Davies we’re talking about here!)

4. Person of the Year: George W. Bush
Even Britney Spears doesn’t generate as much press as Dubya does. A continuing source of inspiration for idiots around the world, the figurehead President nods and smiles while his back room cronies forge ahead in their in quest to bankrupt and destroy the most powerful nation in the world. What’s truly spectacular about Bush is his ability to brush off the criticism and truck merrily along, seemingly oblivious to just how much he sucks and how bad America is getting under his watch. What’s even more incredible is this is his second term, seemingly putting him in the same league as Roosevelt, Eisenhower, Reagan and Clinton.

3. Canadian of the Year: General Rick Hillier
The day of his promotion to the Chief of Defence Staff of the Canadian Forces, Hillier said, right in front of the Prime Minister, “In this country, we could probably not give enough resources to the men and women to do all the things that we ask them to do. But we can give them too little, and that is what we are now doing. Remember them in your budgets.” Refusing to play political games, Hillier calls it like he sees it, even if it makes politicians look stupid. Harper doesn’t know what to do with the man. Thanks to Hillier’s not-so-subtle prodding, the Canadian Forces have actually been getting the equipment and leadership they’ve been lacking for so many years. Morale is high despite Canada’s involvement in an unpopular and increasingly futile conflict that has now claimed over 70 Canadian lives. It takes a big pair to be the Chief of Defence in Canada these days, but the General somehow makes it look easy.

2. Most Expensive Endeavor in Human History: Iraq
2007 is the year human beings spent more money on one project than any other in history. At over one trillion dollars, Iraq is approaching ten times the adjusted cost of the Apollo program, and by some estimates has now passed the monetary cost of World War Two (though thankfully not the human cost). And unlike the Apollo program, which successfully put a man on the Moon, and World War Two, which successfully defeated the Nazis, Iraq continues to be a failure. What has been accomplished in Iraq again? Oh right, the Americans demolished a functional, stable, secular Middle East nation and replaced it with… anarchy. Good job guys. Not to put too fine a point on it, there are better things to be spending the money on.

1. Blogger of the Year: Michael Geist
Michael Geist is different than other bloggers. While most bloggers have a focus on their Internet life, Geist instead focuses on the meatspace, and how to fix the legal rules that govern the Canadian portion of it. A law professor, his focus on justice, copyright and the future of fair use is an oasis of reason in a political landscape increasingly corrupted by big media and their big money. Geist blogs relentlessly and tirelessly to raise awareness of copyright and fair use issues. Because of his efforts, tens of thousands of Canadians have became aware of our government’s attempts to pass crazy, American-like intellectual property laws. The resulting protest lead to a delay to the introduction of a contentious intellectual property bill. Not many bloggers can make the claim that their efforts can make an entire government pause. Geist can.